Actual call center conversations!

Customer:   'I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't get
through;can you help?'
Operator:    'Where did you get that number, sir?'
Customer:   'It's on the door of the business.'
Operator:    'Sir, those are the hours that the business is open.'
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Samsung Electronics
Caller:        'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'
Operator:   'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about.'
Caller:        'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly
states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket
and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number
for Jack?'
Operator:   'I think it means the telephone plug on the wall.'
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Tech Support:  'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.'
Customer:        'OK.'
Tech Support:  'Did you get a pop-up menu?'
Customer:    'No.'
Tech Support:  'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'
Customer:        'No.'
Tech Support:  'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until
this point?'
Customer:        'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'.'
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Caller:  'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized
that I need it. So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I
get my file back again?'
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This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this
guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from
the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording
monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say the Help Desk
employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect
organization for 'Termination without Cause.'

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.
(Now I know why they record these conversations! ):

Operator:       'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'
Caller:            'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect. '
Operator:       'What sort of trouble??'
Caller:            'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden
the words went away.'
Operator:       'Went away?'
Caller:            'They disappeared'
Operator:       'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'
Caller:            'Nothing.'
Operator:       'Nothing??'
Caller:            'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'
Operator:       'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?'
Caller:            'How do I tell?'
Operator:       'Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen?'
Caller:            'What's a sea-prompt?'
Operator:       'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?'
Caller:            'There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't
accept anything I type.'
Operator:       'Does your monitor have a power indicator??'
Caller:            'What's a monitor?'
Operator:       'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like
a TV.Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?'
Caller:            'I don't know.'
Operator:       'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find
where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'
Caller:            'Yes, I think so.'
Operator:       'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if
it's plugged into the wall.
Caller:            'Yes, it is.'
Operator:       'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that
there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one? '
Caller:            'No.'
Operator:      'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again
and find the other cable.'
Caller:           'Okay, here it is.'
Operator:      'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely
into the back of your computer..'
Caller:           'I can't reach.'
Operator:      'OK. Well, can you see if it is?'
Caller:           'No..'
Operator:      'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?'
Caller:           'Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle
-- it's because it's dark.'
Operator:      'Dark?'
Caller:           'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I
have is coming in from the window.'
Operator:      'Well, turn on the office light then.'
Caller:           'I can't.'
Operator:      'No? Why not?'
Caller:           'Because there's a power failure.'
Operator:      'A power ...... A power failure? Aha. Okay, we've got
it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing
stuff that your computer came in?'
Caller:          'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet.'
Operator:     'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it
up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store
you bought it from.'
Caller:          'Really? Is it that bad?'
Operator:     'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'
Caller:          'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?'
Operator:    'Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!'

 

Charu