Category Archives: Entertainment

Nandan Nilkeni’s dream – National ID card

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Nandan Nilekani’s dream – how the national ID card will work  ………

Operator
: “Thank you for calling Pizza Hut . May I have your…”

Customer:
 “Heloo, can I order..”

Operator
: “Can I have your multi purpose ID card number first, Sir?”

Customer:
 “It’s he…, hold………on……889861356102049998-45-54610”

Operator:
 “OK… You’re… Mr Singh and you’re calling from 17 Jal Vayu…..Your home number is 2x26xxxx, your office 250xxxxx and your mobile is 09xxxxxxxx. Which number are you calling from now Sir?”

Customer:
 “Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?

Operator :
 “We are connected to the system Sir”

Customer:
 “May I order your Seafood Pizza…”

Operator :
 “That’s not a good idea Sir”

Customer:
 “How come?”

Operator :
 “According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir”

Customer:
 “What?… What do you recommend then?”

Operator : 
“Try our Low Fat Pizza. You’ll like it”

Customer:
 “How do you know for sure?”

Operator :
 “You borrowed a book entitled “Popular Dishes” from the National Library last week Sir”

Customer:
 “OK I give up… Give me three family size ones then, how much will that cost?”

Operator :
 “That should be enough for your family of 05, Sir. The total is Rs 500.00″

Customer:
 “Can I pay by! Credit card?”

Operator :
 “I’m afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank Rs 23,000.75 since October last year.  That’s not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir..”

Customer:
 “I guess I have to run to the neighbourhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives”

Operator :
 “You can’t Sir. Based on the records, you’ve reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today”

Customer:
 “Never mind just send the pizzas, I’ll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?”

Operator :
 “About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can’t wait you can always come and collect it on your Nano Car…”

Customer:
 ” What!”

Operator :
 “According to the details in system, you own a Nano car,…registration number GZ-05-AB-1107..”

Customer:
 ” ?”

Operator :
 “Is there anything else Sir?”

Customer:
 “Nothing… By the way.. Aren’t you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?”

Operator :
 “We normally would Sir, but based on your records you’re also diabetic……. “

Customer:
 #$$^%&$@$% ^

Operator:
 “Better watch your language Sir.. Remember on 15th July 2010 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman…?”oo

Customer:
 [Faints]

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Rin and Tide ad

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Hmmm you would have seen the above video.  Yes everyone knows that each and everyone is a competitor.  Even Surf Excel is a competitor and Rin and tide?  But why Rin has specifically selected Tide? Any vengence?  Even some of the advertising before had too happened.  It is between Complan and Horlicks.  If they really have a war between them go to court and solve your issue.  What is the reason that you are doing it publicly?  These are the insults to the person who are using Tide that it does nothing but the high cost of price.

Is it healthy to throw mud
at the competitor to state your point and increase the sales?  Does
these advertisements really affect the buying pattern of the public?

Charu

64 ways to insult people

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  1. I used to think that you were a pain in the neck. Now I have a much lower opinion of you.
  2. Don’t get lost in thought; you’d be in unfamiliar territory.
  3. Calling you stupid would be an insult to all the stupid people.
  4. The more I think about you, the less I think of you.
  5. I would ask you how old you are, but I know you can’t count that high.
  6. I’d ask you your bra size, but you’d have to realize that the ABCs keeps going after “C”.
  7. Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?
  8. Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you’d had enough oxygen at birth?
  9. You should learn from your parents’ mistakes; use birth control.
  10. Do you want me to accept you as you are, or do you want me to like you?
  11. I’ve noticed that you never let a thought interrupt the flow of your conversation.
  12. No, I don’t mind that you’re talking so much — as long as you don’t mind that I’m not listening.
  13. I look into your eyes and get the feeling someone else is driving.
  14. Oh my God, look at you! Was anyone else hurt in the accident?
  15. Good night! I’ll see you in my dreams — if I eat too much.
  16. When you go to the mind reader, do you get half price?
  17. No, I don’t think you’re stupid. But then, what’s my own opinion against thousands of others?
  18. I love what you’ve done with your hair! How did you get it to come out of one nostril like that?
  19. Save your breath. You’ll need it to blow up your date.
  20. Some people are has-beens. You are a never-was.
  21. You’re a person of rare intelligence; it’s rare when you show any.
  22. I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself.
  23. Sure, I may be fat, but you’re an idiot — and I can lose weight.
  24. I’m sorry to hear about your illness. I hope it’s nothing trivial.
  25. When you were born, something terrible happened — you lived.
  26. I’ve come across rotting bodies that are less offensive than you are.
  27. Now I know why some mammals eat their children.
  28. Don’t you ever get tired of having you around?
  29. I don’t know what makes you tick, but I hope it’s a bomb.
  30. Are you a moron, or are you possessed by a retarded ghost?
  31. You are a beautiful person on the inside. Too bad we have to look at the outside.
  32. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.
  33. Someday you’ll find yourself, and you will be just as disappointed as the rest of us.
  34. Out of curiosity, were your parents siblings?
  35. If you said what you thought, you’d be speechless.
  36. I wish I had a lower IQ so that I could enjoy your company.
  37. No, no, keep talking! I always yawn when I’m interested.
  38. Is your family happy, or do you go home at night?
  39. I’ll try being nicer if you try being smarter.
  40. They say opposites attract. I hope you meet somebody who is attractive, intelligent, and cultured.
  41. A sharp tongue does not mean you have a keen mind.
  42. May I have the pleasure of your absence?
  43. You say you’re a wit? Well, you’re half right.
  44. Sure, I’d love to help you out. Do you remember which way you came in?
  45. I’d like to say I’m glad you’re here. I’d like to say it; I just can’t.
  46. If there’s ever a price on your head, take it.
  47. I’d explain it to you, but I don’t have any crayons with me.
  48. Your teeth are brighter than you are.
  49. You were born at home, but when your mother saw you she went to the hospital.
  50. You’ll go far someday. I hope you stay there.
  51. If you stop telling lies about me, I’ll stop telling the truth about you.
  52. Some people bring happiness wherever they go; you bring happiness whenever you go.
  53. Do you still love nature, despite what it did to you?
  54. Are you always this stupid, or are you just making a special effort today?
  55. Me? Getting smart with you? How would you know?
  56. I’ll never forget the first time we met — although, I’ll keep trying.
  57. Don’t waste your money with a mind reader. Go see a palm reader instead — you’ve got a palm.
  58. Moonlight becomes you — total darkness, even more.
  59. I’d like to leave you with a parting thought, but I’m not sure you have anywhere to put it.
  60. I know you are nobody’s fool, but there’s still hope that someone will adopt you.
  61. Ignorance can be cured. Stupid is forever.
  62. Your entire purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.
  63. Was that your conclusion, or simply the point in the conversation where you got tired of thinking?
  64. Must you leave so soon? I was about to poison the tea.

-Charu

If colombus would have married this would have happened!

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Hi Folks,

Here are something that you can laugh and pass it around.

If Columbus had been married, he might never have discovered America because of the following questions he would have faced:-

Where are you going?

With whom?

Why?

How are you going?

To discover what?

Why you?

What do I do, when you are not here?

Can I come with you ?

Coming back when?

What will you get for me?

It seems you deliberately made this plan… No???

Why?

Dont lie…. Why are you making such programs?

You seem to be making a lot of such programs nowadays… Why?

I want to go to my parents place. Will you to come and leave me?

I will never come back….Why are you not stopping me?

I don’t understand what is this discovery thing?

You always do like this, last time also you did like this…. I still don’t understand what else is left to be discovered???

-Charu

The copy of The Truman Show!

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       The Truman show is a very wonderful movie which was out in 1998.  The story of the movie is, Truman Brubank is selected for the TV show whose life will be on TV on live since his birth.  He doesn’t know about this actually.  One day he came to know that he is being watched by all around the world.  After that he nicely escapes from the candid cameras.  This is a nice story, isn’t it?

    Yes and recently in hindi channels that I have come across, they are conducting similar program like Truman show.  In which the participants are called upon whoever is interested can participate and they will be informed that they will be kept in a big area with their lover/lady love.  By the way they do know that the whole world is watching them or will be watching for the next one month.  In the TV they even record whatever the crap things they do.  This is idiotic/idiosyncrasy, isn’t it?

     Like wise, there is a serial in Colors channel named DADAGIRI.  Utter worst serial.  The beauty of the serial is, they will call the audience to participate in the show and they have to do whatever they instruct.  This show is something like challenging the strange things.  If the person is unable to do one thing or out of the time, the person who is comparing the show is shout like you the f**k, sh*t, cr*p etc.  And my question is, why the hell you are shouting at the participant is unable to finish their task.  It is really great that they have participated.  But that is too much of scolding them.  Another more question is, why don’t they try doing it?

   Ahh, another more program similar to the one on Color Channel, where they select 5 couples who is pregnant along with their husband they have to stay in a big bungalow and they keep on reviewing about their incidents and blah blah.

I seriously don’t know why they are conducting these type of serials.

All in the world are copy cats.  What I am trying to say is, be a copy cat and try to be innovative too at times.

Regards,
Charu